NaNoWriMo 2012 Week Four Snippet

November 28, 2012

(This is part of scene twenty-four in all its unedited inglorious first draft form)



Grace managed to force her eyes open, though the right one was sticky with blood and bits of asphalt. Sunlight spilled through the cracks in the spray-painted windows of the warehouse.

A pair of squeaky clean high dollar sneakers was parked in front of her face and Oscar’s voice was oddly controlled when he spoke. “Imagine my surprise when the boys broke up my Saturday afternoon basketball game to tell me they’d caught you nosing around my territory.”

Fighting the dizziness, she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. “I can’t let it go, Rivera.”

“We had a deal, chica. I’d give you the person who ordered Father Kelly’s death or the person who carried out that order. One or the other. You made your choice and I made good on my end. Here on the South Side, we call that a done deal.” 

“But I can’t live with myself knowing Barrios is walking free.”

“I don’t care how you live, officer. You can’t have it both ways.”

She had to know the answer. “Would you have given me Barrios if I’d chosen him instead of Caldwell?”

He shook his head. “I don’t hand over soldiers who so faithfully carry out my directives.”

“Then why make the offer? Why give me a choice between the two?”

“I wanted to know if you’d do the right thing. And up until two hours ago, you did.” He dropped to his haunches and said, in an angry hiss, “There are consequences for this kind of disrespectful behavior.”

Her stomach lurched. “Whatever it is, it’s on my head. I accept that.”

He fingered the split skin of her eyebrow. “You know it doesn’t work that way. Or maybe you don’t remember. Maybe you’ve become so comfortable with the devil- you-know, that you forgot his true nature – my true nature.”

He was right. She had forgotten. She’d let herself get so carried away trying to avenge Father’s death, that she’d made peace with the one person who stood to gain the most if she failed to save the Department Of Reclamations. “Rivera, please –”

He stood up, towered over her, glared down at her. “It’s too late to negotiate, officer. Your partner has already paid the price for your misconduct.”

The walls began to spin. She barely recognized her own voice, pitched somewhere between prayer and shriek. “What have you done to Judah?”

“What I should have done to you the moment Father Kelly brought you into the DOR. Beat him within an inch of his life, so that we had an understanding. This is my neighborhood. These are my people. This is my way of life. Stay out of it or your partner won’t survive the week.”

The buzzing in the back of her head became a piercing screech and her chest grew so tight she could scarcely breathe. She closed her eyes, curled up on her side, and let the pain and darkness engulf her. 



Week One

Week Two

Week Three

5 Responses to NaNoWriMo 2012 Week Four Snippet

  1. November 28, 2012 at 5:58 am

    Gotta love guilty angst and a badly beaten boyfriend!  Love the dialogue and the tension.  Bravo, Ruthie!

  2. November 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Great writing, really felt her anguish and pain. Again you are a master of dialogue, I so hope she gets her own back later :)

  3. November 28, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Oh, you drag us in and it's all we can do to stand back and let Grace deal with it herself! And Judah! Don't leave us hanging… Love it Ruth!

  4. November 29, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Oh my! What a cliffhanger to end on – I am desperate to know how things pan out for Grace and Judah. I love her as a character, tough and yet full of heart. Powerful writing!  Another great snippet!

  5. November 29, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Playtime's over missy. Get to that second draft so we can get our hands on this!! Curiosity piqued to the max.

Hit Counter provided by technology news