The moment her hands were free of the webbed manacles, she slammed them palm up against the wall and the prison multiplex ignited in a flash of color and chaos.
Staring at her through the swirling concrete dust, he said, “Who the hell are you?”
“I’m the one who’s going to set the rebellion on its ear, Kandence, and you’re the one who’s going to help me save Millennium City.”
"Look, lady," he said, dusting off his jacket, "I got no idea what you're talking – -"
Interrupting, she said, "Let me show you," and when her mouth brushed his, images spilled across his memory like a waterfall, saturating every cell of his consciousness until he remembered – the machines and the misery and the woman who'd waged war against them – and crushing his ferocious wife to his chest, he wept.
Five Sentence Fiction is hosted weekly by my lovely friend Lillie McFerrin. She provides a one word prompt and participants use it to create a story in five sentences! Read more about it or join up here!
Oh this is a brilliant start… can hardly wait. You've captured a great atmosphere with this one. Nice work.
Thank you! As soon as I read the prompt a futuristic scene flashed in my mind's eye and this is what tumbled out!! Glad you enjoyed it!
Oh Wow! You do like to evoke a reaction don't you Ruth! I got chills and definitely wanted to read more…can't decide which sentence I love most, but the last one probably clinches it!
Thank you!! Yeah, I do like to come out with battle cry!! This one was fun to write and I'd like to flesh it out some more, so we'll see if it catches fire!!
Oh you should! I loved that one and so keen to know more about them and Millenium City and its rebellion!
Can you hear me? YOU HAVE TO EXPAND THIS ONE…..love, love, LOVED it!
Thanks, Donna! After I posted this one and was reading it in all it's technicolor glory (!) I thought, 'Hmmm, I could really have fun with this one!', so keep the faith and know that it's on the drawing board!!
And she gave him the red pill and changed his life forever……….
Luckily for him, she didn't give him the yellow pill, huh?!
Loved it! I don't read much science fiction but this one left me begging for more. Definately tuck this away in your little bag of tricks to be expanded later on down the road.
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, this one is absolutely flagged for future expansion!!
Wow such strong evocative imagery. I really enjoyed the "images spilled across his memory like a waterfall, saturating every cell of his consciousness" bit. You always have great pics to go along with them too.
Thanks, Debra! I really work on finding just the right image so that you can see how the story looks in my head – and this one was such a close match that it's a little spooky!!
I love it
And, I really truly agree with everyone that I would be all over reading more of this story!!!
Thank you! Rest assured that I've pulled this one aside to work on building it into a larger piece.
You absolutely must expand on this, Ruth. It's probably one of my favourite entries for this prompt. Excellent writing, a beautiful story, a brilliant start. Reading these five lines at the beginning of a book at a bookstore would make me very happy. =)
I just figured out the perfect soundtrack for this (or at least what I'd have listened to while writing this): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c624QWR3CXI
/ Rain
I enjoyed the powerful imagery.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Car Town Start Guide and Cheats: Get Your Game On
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the read!